Sunday, August 06, 2006

The crazy mega-conspiracy oil theory

Juan Cole posits the crazy mega-conspiracy oil theory in order to explain the Israeli attack on Lebanon.  The problem with the theory is the obvious one:  rather than weaken Hezbollah and Iran, nothing has done more to strengthen them, and even encourage the dreaded Sunni-Shi’ite alliance.  In order to accept the theory, you have to believe that the Anglo-American geopolitical strategists are idiots (the Europeans have no interest in whether their Iranian oil is pumped by Iranian companies or American ones). What’s happening in Lebanon is exactly what it looks like:  the Israeli generals, perceiving a weakening of the neocons in Washington (Israeli neocolonialism is tied directly to crooked American voting machines!), and wanting to take a last crack at stealing Litani River water and breaking up Lebanon, are using the Christian Zionist duo of Bush-Blair, while they are in power, along with the neocon traitors and the Zionist American media spin machine, to expand Israel while they still can.  Christian Lebanon is being attacked as part of the Yinon strategy - followed religiously by the generals who really rule Israel - to destroy Lebanon as a single state. 

It’s funny how we hear that the most obvious conspiracy theories in the world are nonsense, unless they provide cover for Zionism, in which case the most insane counterintuitive conspiracy theories are the only possible answer.  I hope that ‘Peak Oil’ is true (unlikely that we would be so lucky), as it is the only thing that will save us from our real problem, global warming (the obvious long-term plan is to power everything by hydrogen manufactured using energy from mini-nuclear plants, leaving oil as a quaint chapter in the history of technology).

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