Melamine conspiracy theories

The latest addled conspiracy theory is that the current scare over melamine in pet/human food was caused by intentional doctoring of the food by the Chinese.  Yeah, as if the Chinese were going to destroy their own business by sabotaging themselves.  I have a better conspiracy theory, which reflects the oddnesses that:

1.  the Chinese don’t seem to know what is going on, and


2.  the Americans are working glacially slowly to determine what the real problem is. 

What if the melamine problem was the Bush Administration’s plan to deal with the Chinese trade deficit?  A few dead pets equals no more agricultural trade with China.  The neocons, as distinctly opposed to the American Establishment, really hate the Chinese (more on this important issue to come).