Sunday, November 09, 2003

Cloud-Cuckoo-Land

Robert Fisk has written an good little rejoinder to Bush's ridiculous freedom/democracy speech. The United States, of all countries, is attempting to pat itself on its back for its efforts in bringing democracy and freedom to the Middle East. If it wasn't so ridiculous it would make you sick. The world appears to be entering cloud-cuckoo-land:

  1. Ken Lay, who ran a company which stole billions of dollars from hundreds of millions of people, walks around a free man, and Tommy Chong is in prison from selling glassware. It's good to know that Americans can go to bed at night safe and secure from the terrible scourge of glass tubes.

  2. Linda Tripp just won a 'settlement' from the American Defense Department of almost $600,000. What horrible thing did the American Defense Department do to her to justify this big payment? It invaded her privacy. You just can't make this stuff up.

  3. Fourteen police officers burst into a high school in South Carolina with guns drawn, looking for illegal drugs. They didn't find any. Several students were handcuffed when they refused to get down on the floor. Principal George McCrackin said:

    "I don't think it was an overreaction on our part. I'm sure it was an inconvenience to those individuals who were in the hallway, but there is a valuable experience there."

    Of course, he's absolutely right. After the next fake terrorist attack on the United States, the timing of which depends entirely on Karl Rove's calculations on what he'll need to win the next election if they can't get enough Diebold machines in place, Ashcroft will have all the ammunition he requires to bring in Patriot II. It's an excellent idea, in the tradition of fire drills, for students to start practicing jack-booted-thug drills. If some mouthy student tries to sass one of the thugs in a drill, he might just get a broken jaw, rather than the bullet in the head he would get during the real thing. After the drills, the non-injured students can go back to their classes, having learned a valuable lesson in how to obey (except for the students of Arab descent, who would never be seen again).

  4. Prince Charles has had to deny doing something, even though the British press finds itself unable to state exactly what it is he may have done, or if he did anything at all (allegedly, his valet polished more than his shoes). They claim their peculiar semi-silence is due to British libel laws, but surely it is because they are still medieval peasants in Britain, afraid to give offence to their Lord and Liege. The interesting conspiracy angle in all this is that it appears to be a continuation of the age-old battle between the Spencers and the Windsors, with Lady Diana Spencer's servant being used to shake the Windsor's hold on the monarchy (to the Spencers, the Windsors are a bunch of upstart Germans with no legitimate claim to the throne).


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